September 10, 2006

Women: Quiting Your Complaining about the Pains of Birth

Ok before I get bashed by a bunch of women, read first. You women love to spout off at the mouth about “You don’t know what I have to go through” or “You don’t understand what I’m going through” and you know what, your right! Now allow me to give another spin to those statements.

This is branching off my earlier post. See I’m a deep thinker and a spiritual person, beyond what most people see, I think very deeply about things people don’t give two thoughts about. This is what lead me here. You women love to use those lines and your completely and truly right. However have you ever thought about this. You get to create life! You get to actually bring a life form into this world. Yea yea any man can pump, pump, and then skeet, but after that, the man becomes nothing more than a bystander.

Women you get to bring that life into this world. For nine months you and only you get to deeply bond with this new life. The creation of life is such a wonderful and deeply spiritual thing. Us men will never get to experience this feeling, the changes, and the connection that happens during those 9 months before birth. I know some of you guys are thinking, ha why would we want to go through that. Yes pregnancy isn’t easy. My girl always spouts off “I don’t know how she feels”, and while most men might not want to, I wish I could. Yes I said I wish I could, incase you thought you read that wrong. While no I probably wouldn’t like the feeling of throwing up or hormones raging, I would gladly welcome it as also I would be the first and only person to know and experience my child moving around for the first time. Knowing when I visited the doctor and heard the heartbeat, that it was beating from within me, that now I had 2 heartbeats. Knowing that when I ate food (though I might throw it right back up) that I was feeding a little life inside me. As that child grew, and started moving around a lot, knowing that I alone knows when my unborn child is sleeping, and when she/he is awake and moving around. We men will never get to experience this phenomenal event. We will never get to experience this deeply spiritual, emotional, and mental connection.

While we are at it, let’s not forget what it means to be a parent. Mothers are always, always the main caregiver. People look real different at Fathers and Mothers. Shoot even while pregnant, women get all the perks. People get up for them on buses or trains, some people go out of their way to help a Mother if needed. Even after birth those same perks are there. People will still offer their seat to a mom, now let a father carrying his child get on, you don’t see no one offering anything to a father. Even the way fathers are viewed and looked upon is sharply different from mothers. I read a very good point in the book “The Expectant Father” and what is said is very true in the chapter entitled Fathering Today, let me show a few quotes it said for you:

“The hitch is that society (and by this I mean all of us) not only won’t support us but actively discourage us. Quite simply, Americans don’t value fatherhood nearly as much as motherhood. (Even the word conjure up very different images: motherhood is equated with caring, nurturing, and love, while fatherhood doesn’t seem to be much more than a biological relationship.)”

“Perhaps the most active way we have at discouraging men’s involvement with children is by continually portraying men as dangerous……..I was pushing my older daughter on the swing at our favorite park, when I heard a little girl start to scream. She was just a few feet away, teetering on the small platform at the top of a long, steep slide. As I watched, she lose her grip on the handrail and began to fall. Without thinking, I stepped over the slide, caught the girl, and set her down on the sand. I knelt down and was about to ask her if she was all right, when a women picked the girl up, gave me a withering look, and hustled the child away. Didn’t I tell you not to talk to strange men in the park? the women asked her daughter, glaring over her shoulder at me. Did he hurt you?”

This was just a few remarks from the book that stood out to me, if I could I would of typed the whole chapter. So while you women are going on and going about how we can’t feel what you are going through, you should be honored. I would love to experience it. Good or bad, you get to spend 9 months with that growing child, bonding on the deepest level, you alone get to experience and know things no one else can know, like when the child moves around, when it is up and when it is sleep. You only get the perks of being pregnant and after being a mother, in a society where people value your role far more than they do a father. If you have a situation like the one I quote above, I can bet if it was you who caught that baby, the mother would have been so grateful to you instead of looking at you like you were a child molester. So yes there is good and yes there is bad, but if I could, I would gladly want to experience what you do go through both good or bad. So next time, when your so quick to use those lines, think of the whole experience, cause if the father of your child is as deep a thinker or as spiritual as I am, they probably do wish they could experience it and might just be jealous of you since they can’t

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